“A postnuptial or mediated agreement can help save a couple’s relationship — if that’s their goal.” CNN
I’ve been asked periodically to help mediate for married couples on issues like chores, aspects of communication, and how finances are managed. I always refused but was never sure why. I work with married couples to help them divorce, as well as with siblings, neighbors, business partners, and colleagues to resolve disputes and, hopefully, strengthen their connection and tools for more productive interactions. So why not married couples?
Not long ago, I was approached by a couple to help them with a prenup. I warned them that I’d not done them before. I knew their goals and that they had retained counsel. Much of their plan was effectively divorce planning. That was familiar territory, so I agreed to work with them. What surprised me was how much I loved helping this couple not just navigate “divorce planning” but aspects of how they would manage their relationship and strike that tricky balance between the interests of the individual and the couple – which can be at odds. It was a gratifying process for both me and the couple. I knew I wanted more of this work.
“Preparing a postnup may be a surprisingly cathartic experience for couples. It is an opportunity to analyze their assets, debt, and spending habits, and to look at the impact of financial stress on their emotional lives. Grievances can be aired and insecurities expressed.” Huffington Post
So, I’ve extended my practice to include marriage and pre-marriage mediation. It’s time to leverage my years of knowledge about ending marriages peacefully and strengthening other relationships to help existing love relationships – whether married or not. Pre-nups (or pre-marriage agreements) and post-nups (or agreements within marriages) are a great way to air concerns, address problems, reach agreements, and strengthen your bond.
I’m offering a limited time discount on pre-marital and marital mediation – 25% off mediation services through January 31, 2017. Get a free consultation.
“People also enter into a post nuptial agreement because their goals and priorities have shifted during the marriage. Issues such as child care, household chores, investment decisions, and the like are often made part of the post nuptial agreement, either in response to (or in anticipation of) conflicts and changes of attitude in these areas.” UnderstandEstatePlanning.com