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07 Feb

Professional Service: Elected to the Board of the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators

I’m pleased and honored to be elected to the Board of Directors of the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators. I served from 2013-2106 and recently began another 2 year term. PCM is the only state-wide organization dedicated solely to conflict resolution. The organization

brings together individuals and organizations that share a common interest in mediation as the preferred form of dispute resolution. PCM strives to increase the use of mediation through: Education; Increasing the demand for qualified practitioners; and Providing a network for professional development.

I’m happy to do my part to spread the word about mediation and support fellow practitioners.

Pennsylvania Council of Mediators

a22 Articles Blog Featured Professional Development Uncategorized
17 Mar

Workshop at the 2020 PA Council of Mediators Conference

Note: When this conference was canceled due to the coronavirus pandemic, I was invited to convert my content to webinar format and offer it as the Pennsylvania Council of Mediator’s inaugural webinar. The program was co-hosted by PCM and the Chester County Bar Association. The recording is available through the Bar Association.

I’m pleased to have been selected to deliver workshop again at the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators Annual Conference, May 1-2 in Harrisburg. The workshops is entitled ” What is Tone Policing and Why Every Conflict Resolution Professional Needs to Understand It.”

Tone policing is a popular term used to describe the silencing of a party in a conflict because they are expressing strong emotions. Dig a little further and you find complex dynamics at play: class, race, gender, ableism and other power dynamics as well as messages about what feelings are acceptable and how, or even if, we can show them. This workshop will dive into the details and nuances of: tone policing, how our personal demographics might sway our perceptions of tone policing and whether we might be tone policing, how to differentiate between tone policing and healthy boundaries, and how we as conflict resolution professionals can help address these sensitive and contentious concerns.

a22 Conflict Conflict Resolution Skills Event Event List Professional Development Uncategorized Workshop
24 Dec

Musing on Forgiveness and Apology: 8 Steps to Making a Meaningful and Effective Apology

As I write, the sun is setting to mark the end of the Jewish high holiday of Rosh Hashanah. Prominent themes of the holiday include reflection, asking for forgiveness and making amends. Regardless of your belief system, these are healthy and often cathartic exercises. But how does one properly ask for forgiveness? The cornerstone is apology.

An effective apology is more than just saying “I’m sorry.” Here are some steps to a successful apology.

1)      Mean It. An apology must be sincere to be truly effective. To mean it, you’ll need some time to reflect on what happened. You must come to understand what you did wrong in the situation and how it affected the other person.

2)      Own It. You need to take responsibility for your error and the ramifications, and you need to name them specifically in your apology. “I’m sorry I was late with my part of the project. I understand that makes you rush with your work.”

3)      Don’t Dilute It. Never add “if” or “but” to your apology. Never point the finger at the other person’s feelings. “I’m sorry if my actions hurt your feelings” is not a strong and effective apology.

4)      Correct It. You must make amends for your error. “I’m sorry I was late for the movie and caused us to have lousy seats. I’d like to take you to the theater this Saturday and make sure we get there in plenty of time.” Apologizing and then repeating the behavior undermines the apology and can undermine your credibility for future apologies.

5)      Keep It Simple. This is not the time to rehash everything that happened or otherwise explain yourself. Just state what you did wrong, the ramifications, and how you will correct it.

6)      Practice It. Whether you write it down, role play with a friend, or just have an imaginary conversation in your head (yes, we all do that), you need to be prepared. This apology is important. Take the time to be prepared.

7)      Stick It Out. Having your apology practiced will help you stick to your simple message, even if the person to whom you are apologizing reacts with anger, sadness, or frustration. You are apologizing because you know that you have injured this person. It’s quite possible that talking about that injury, even in the context of an apology, can be uncomfortable for both of you. Be ready to stick it out if you get dished some heat.

8)      Wait It Out. Just because you are ready to apologize, doesn’t mean that he’s ready to forgive. It’s reasonable to ask for forgiveness when you apologize, but it may take the other person some time before she can forgive you. She may never forgive you. Even if she doesn’t, making a sincere apology is an important part of forgiving yourself. A well-considered, genuine, and well-constructed apology is much more likely to lead to forgiveness – even if it takes a while.

So, take a little time to reflect and consider if you have hurt or offended anyone lately. Maybe it’s time to apologize.

a22 Blog Blogs & Bits Communication Conflict Resolution Skills Uncategorized
06 Oct

Listen Up! The Stats on the Power of Listening Are Staggering

How-we-communicateTo share just a few:

Number of business studies that indicate that listening is a top skill needed for success in business: 35

Numerical order among the reasons that marriages fail that not really listening is: 1

Amount of time we spend listening: 45%

Percentage of what we know that we have learned by listening: 85%

Amount of the time we are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful when listening: 75%

Reduction in office visits by chronically ill patients after they have been listened to for 15-30 minutes: 30%

Percentage of Americans who have had any formal education in listening: 2%

Maybe it’s time for you to get a formal education on listening. Check out our latest workshops.

 

Sources: 

Listening facts you never knew

Listening Facts

Listening Statistics

 

 

 

 

 

 

a22 Articles Blog Communication Conflict Resolution Skills Listening Uncategorized
13 Aug

Get My eBook: 26 Divorce Myths from 12 Divorce Professionals

26-Divorce-Myths-12-Divorce-Professionals Cover GraphicI’m pleased to share this e-book of great information and an ample dose of hope and inspiration. I’ve joined with 11 other area professionals to help expand your understanding of what the divorce process is really like. Whether it’s legal, financial, custody, children’s needs, or emotional myths, get the truth from 26 Divorce Myths: Straight Answers from 12 Professionals in the Trenches.

CTA Free eBook

a22 Blog Blogs & Bits Co-Parenting Communication Divorce Divorcing Family Mediation Post-Divorce Uncategorized
13 Feb

Presentations and Workshops

Please contact me to discuss a presentation or workshop for my group, organization or business.

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Uncategorized
24 Nov

Join Our Conflict Coaching Drop-In Sessions

Next session December 1!

Uncategorized
23 Aug

We’ve Moved!

Progressive Conflict Solutions has moved!  We’re still in the heart of Media, now located in HeadRoom, 24 Veterans Square.  HeadRoom is a means by which small companies can experience the benefits of lower overhead through shared knowledge, technology and resources that help them grow.  Not only do I share space at HeadRoom, but I’ll be sharing conflict management services as part of the community of professionals supporting start-ups and small businesses.

Stay tuned to learn more about HeadRoom and my offerings there and please join us for the HeadRoom Grand Opening on Wednesday, September 24th, 5-8pm.  Details to follow.

PCS-HeadRoom Logo Combo

Blog Blogs & Bits Uncategorized

Recent Posts

  • Professional Service: Elected to the Board of the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators

    Professional Service: Elected to the Board of the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators

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