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Archive for marital mediation

03 Nov

Do You Need a Cohabitation Agreement?

In the US, we often think of cohabitation as something done by young couples on the path to marriage. But the demographics on co-habitation is more complex than this. So are the things a couple should discuss when deciding how to cohabitate.

Changing Demographics

According to the US Census, cohabitation is up by 29% in the last decade. More striking is that the number of cohabiting people over 50 has increased 75% in the same time, per a study by the Pew Research Center. That’s a lot of cohabitation. (Read more about cohabitation over 50.)

Lots of Issues to Consider

One reason couples opt out of marriage because of the complex cluster of rules, laws, and expectations around the institution. Cohabitating couples still have laws to consider, but they mostly make up their own rules. Decisions about how to share living quarters, how to interact with family, how and when to make decisions, how to manage finances, and long-range planning are all critical and sensitive topics. But those topics need to be tackled clearly and with sensitivity.

Mediation can be an ideal forum to have those important and sensitive discussions. It provides a neutral and supported environment to raise issues, iron out differences, and come up with creative and balanced solutions that fit your unique relationship.

Contact me to talk about mediation for cohabitation.

 

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01 Oct

Mediation for Your Marriage

“A postnuptial or mediated agreement can help save a couple’s relationship — if that’s their goal.” CNN

I’ve been asked periodically to help mediate for married couples on issues like chores, aspects of communication, and how finances are managed. I always refused but was never sure why. I work with married couples to help them divorce, as well as with siblings, neighbors, business partners, and colleagues to resolve disputes and, hopefully, strengthen their connection and tools for more productive interactions. So why not married couples?

Not long ago, I was approached by a couple to help them with a prenup. I warned them that I’d not done them before. I knew their goals and that they had retained counsel. Much of their plan was effectively divorce planning. That was familiar territory, so I agreed to work with them. What surprised me was how much I loved helping this couple not just navigate “divorce planning” but aspects of how they would manage their relationship and strike that tricky balance between the interests of the individual and the couple – which can be at odds. It was a gratifying process for both me and the couple. I knew I wanted more of this work.

“Preparing a postnup may be a surprisingly cathartic experience for couples. It is an opportunity to analyze their assets, debt, and spending habits, and to look at the impact of financial stress on their emotional lives. Grievances can be aired and insecurities expressed.” Huffington Post

So, I’ve extended my practice to include marriage and pre-marriage mediation. It’s time to leverage my years of knowledge about ending marriages peacefully and strengthening other relationships to help existing love relationships – whether married or not. Pre-nups (or pre-marriage agreements) and post-nups (or agreements within marriages) are a great way to air concerns, address problems, reach agreements, and strengthen your bond.

I’m offering a limited time discount on pre-marital and marital mediation – 25% off mediation services through January 31, 2017. Get a free consultation.

“People also enter into a post nuptial agreement because their goals and priorities have shifted during the marriage. Issues such as child care, household chores, investment decisions, and the like are often made part of the post nuptial agreement, either in response to (or in anticipation of) conflicts and changes of attitude in these areas.” UnderstandEstatePlanning.com

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