• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
Progressive Conflict Solutions

Progressive Conflict Solutions

Conflict Resolution Services with Ellen Morfei

  • About
  • Services
    • Mediation
    • Divorce & Custody
    • Conflict Coaching
    • Additional Services
  • Pricing
  • Appointments

Listening

Listening: A Profound New Year’s Resolution

December 24, 2015

If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.   — Turkish Proverb

The year’s end is a natural time for reflection. I enjoy looking back at the past year – appreciating the successes and joys, considering what I’d like to do differently. I make resolutions most years. Sometimes they include typical themes like weight loss, but usually there are a few concrete goals to guide me through the year. A few years ago, I began recording these in a journal along with a few other notes and inspirations that speak to important and thought-provoking experiences like attending a retreat or processing a heartbreak. Yearly re-reading inspires new reflections and goals.    

I chuckled while recently revisiting one of my past resolution themes: Listen. Listen. Listen. Yes, it was there three times. It was almost as though I was shaking myself to get my attention – shouting even. As a mediator, I listen professionally and I realize its importance, but it’s much harder for me to do in daily life. You can probably relate. But listening is a cornerstone for broad, long term goals like having rich and loving personal relationships and a strong and effective professional referral network.

Effective listening – NOT the same as hearing – is a critical life skill that can be learned. To learn it well, you must PRACTICE. Perhaps improving your listening should be one of your new year’s resolutions. It’s a great pick because it improves all aspects of your life, while also benefiting those around you. Madelyn Burley-Allen, author of Listening: The Forgotten Skill, writes that when we listen deeply, we:

  • acknowledge the speaker
  • increase the speaker’s self-esteem and confidence
  • tell the speaker, “You are important” and “I am not judging you”
  • gain the speaker’s cooperation
  • reduce stress and tension
  • build teamwork
  • gain trust
  • elicit openness
  • gain a sharing of ideas and thoughts
  • obtain more valid information about the speaker and the subject 

Listening is at the heart of a healthy approach to minimizing conflicts and resolving them productively. We aren’t currently offering workshops. Contact me about coaching if you’d like to work on your listening skills one-on-one. 

Primary Sidebar

Make an Appointment

Previous Posts

  • All Are Welcome Here: Serving with Love and Acceptance Since Day One
  • We’re the TOPS! Ranked in the Top 14 Mediators Out of 300 in Philly
  • Professional Service: Re-elected to the Board of the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators
  • Workshop at the 2020 PA Council of Mediators Conference
  • Dealing with Family Conflict During the Holidays
  • Reflections on My First Five Years in Business, 2013-2018
  • Honoring Emotions in Divorce Financial Negotiations
  • Do You Need a Cohabitation Agreement?
  • My Interview About Healthy Divorce
  • Teaching PA’s Judges About Mediation
  • Speaking at the Annual Conference of the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators, April 22, 2017
  • A Stronger Us: Mediating A Prenuptial Agreement
  • Our Stories and Our Assumptions
  • Presenting at the Pennsylvania Council of Mediators Annual Conference, April 15, 2016
  • Service to the Profession: Make Divorce Healthier Symposium, November 15, 2016
  • Listening: A Profound New Year’s Resolution
  • Musing on Forgiveness and Apology: 8 Steps to Making a Meaningful and Effective Apology
  • Get My eBook: 26 Divorce Myths from 12 Divorce Professionals
  • Update: Program for Mediators a Great Success
  • Ellen Morfei: Super Mediator

Blog | Privacy Policy | Make an Appointment


MEDIA, PA

ellen@ progressiveconflictsolutions.com | 610-312-1463

    

Copyright © 2023 Progressive Conflict Solutions

NOTICE: We are not currently accepting new clients.